so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
