I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
