My liver just broke up with me...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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