Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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