and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
two words: eviction party
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
