think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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