It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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