He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize