This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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