What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
