i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
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