so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
