i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize