Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
