im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death