You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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