It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain