Just fell off a train. Bad.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
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I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
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The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.