you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
21 Sketchy Drug Deals That Are Scary AF
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.