Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(716): View more from New York

you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.

Fav 32 2283 4176
share tweet
(626): View more from California

Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.

Fav 24 18714 1354
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight

Fav 10 4433 1277
share tweet
(541): View more from Oregon

Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.

Fav 9 2135 1045
share tweet
21 Sketchy Drug Deals That Are Scary AF
Read it at the TFLN blog
(850): View more from Florida

He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life

Fav 15 935 3062
share tweet
(865): View more from Tennessee

Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"

Fav 6 2493 771
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(309): View more from Illinois

she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it

Fav 7 1173 862
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(203): View more from Connecticut

She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.

Fav 4 633 970
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(937): View more from Ohio

At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.

Fav 1 59 13
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT