using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
