Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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