Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
