google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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