He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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