I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
