I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
