and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
