dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
