yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
