You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
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The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
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If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
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