Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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