I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
