I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
