I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
