Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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