Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
