i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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