i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Can I color on your dick again?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize