my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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