Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
