But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
