i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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