I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
