i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize