theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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