You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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