I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
