Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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