I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
