The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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