he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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