Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize