She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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