If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
