hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You ruined the universe
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
