Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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