you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
