Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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