i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
