from now on my penis is your penis
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
