i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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