who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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