i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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