Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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