Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
