did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
