well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
