the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
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I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
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If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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