I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
